This one's not going to last long!

Seriously,

do real estate agents honestly think that ANYONE still believes tag lines like this in a description of a home for sale? Clearly, they don't have anything (else?) positive to say about the property.

Some translations:

One line of descriptive verbiage: The agent hasn't actually been out to see the property.

This one won't last: I don't have anything better to say and I don't want to only write one line of descriptive verbiage (see definition #1).

EVERYTHING IS IN CAPITAL LETTERS: I don't have anything of value to describe to you, but if I YELL it, you might be impressed.

Lots of exclamation points!!!!: see previous translation.

Many architectural features: I'm sure there are actual terms for the features in the home, but shouldn't the agent know their names?

Spelling Mistakes: Really, you're a real estate agent and you don't know how to spell "secluded", "immaculate", "laminate" or "prestigious"? And you didn't notice that wiggly red line under "seclued", "immaculous", "liminate" or "prestegeous"?

I know, grumble, grumble. As a buyer's agent, I read all these descriptions along with my clients and I can't help but infer what kind of agent I'm going to be working with from the words they use to sell their listing. When I see things like this, I feel like I've got a really good chance for negotiating down, because the agent seems to have not put in a full effort yet, so why would it start with the negotiation process. So, while I find it often humorous, the more of it I see, the more I feel that sellers are clearly being represented by an agent who is not giving it their all!